Families & Addiction:

Are Your Loved Ones in Danger?

When a family member is addicted to drugs or alcohol, the problems that result can invade almost every aspect of life. It can make even the most welcoming of homes feel unsafe. It can devastate the hopes and dreams of the closest of relations. It can sabotage finances, shatter trust, and in some cases, even threaten the safety of the family as a whole.

It isn’t just parents of addicts that suffer either. Brothers, sisters, children, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, grandparents, and grandchildren are all hurt by a family member’s addiction.

What’s so hard about having an addicted family member is that it’s difficult to know just what you can do to help. Should you confront them head on? Or should you let them figure it out on their own? Is this something they need to overcome on their own? Or should you call in a professional?

And how do you know if your family member is even addicted in the first place?

This guide for family members of addicts is meant to help educate those closest to substance abusers about what addiction really is, how to spot the signs in others, and what to do to help.

Because in the end, blood is thicker than addiction. And with the right family support, recovery is possible.

Get Help For Your Addicted Son or Daughter

You don’t have to lose your child to an addiction. We can help!

Speak to an addiction specialist

How to Support a Loved One Who is Struggling with Substance Abuse

When someone you love suffers from an addiction, at times, it can feel as though your hands are tied. You want to help as much as you can, and you want to be supportive, but the truth is that you don't even know where to begin.

Below is a breakdown of what to do to help addicted parents, addicted children, or other family members who are addicted.

Helping an addicted parent

A growing number of those who struggle with addiction are moms and dads. And while this has been a significant problem for quite some time, it’s typical to brush the issue aside as if it’s not real. However, the statistics tell us a very different story about the number of parents and children that are affected because of parental addiction.

22-42%

8,300,000

More than 8.3 million children in the United States are currently living with someone who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol. This accounts for almost 12% of all children in the U.S. If you count the number of grandchildren who are affected by an addiction, that number can be as high as 16%. Children of alcoholics are as much as four times more likely to abuse alcohol in the future than those whose parents are not alcoholics.

27%

A study called the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE) found that almost 27% of the participants reported a history of substance abuse within their households. Close to 2/3 of all cases of alcoholism are related to adverse childhood experiences due to alcoholism in the home. The same is true for 60% of suicide attempts and half of all instances of drug use. As many as 2/3 of all child abuse and neglect cases involve some type of alcohol abuse or drug addiction.

Advice for the Children of Addicts: You Can Get Help Too

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The Various Ways Children of Addicts Suffer

Do Children of Addicts Often Grow Up to be Addicts?

IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER ADDICTED?

Never before has teen addiction and substance abuse been such a serious problem in the United States. The statistics tell a scary story about how easy it seems to be for teenagers to obtain drugs and alcohol because of how common substance abuse is among this population of people in our country.

For example, DoSomething.org indicates that:

60%

There are more teenagers who die because of prescription drug abuse than from cocaine and heroin combined. 60% of high school seniors don’t feel that marijuana is harmful at all, even though the active ingredient in marijuana (THC) is as much as 5 times stronger than it was 20 years ago.

30%

More than 30% of teenagers who live in states that have medical marijuana laws obtain their drugs from other people’s prescriptions. Adderall (which is prescribed to treat ADHD) use among high school seniors has increased substantially. In 2009, 5.4% of seniors used Adderall, and today, 7.5% of them do.

54%

54% of high school seniors do not feel that regular steroid use is harmful at all. 5% of high school seniors smoke pot on a daily basis.

16.5%

By the time they reach the 8thgrade, 28% of students have consumed alcohol, and 16.5% of them have smoked marijuana. In 2013, more seniors had regularly used marijuana than cigarettes. Close to 23% of them had smoked pot at some point during the last month.

60%

60% of teenagers who abuse prescription drugs obtain them from friends or family for free Less than 40% of seniors believe that regular use of marijuana is harmful.

50%

50% of seniors don’t believe it is harmful to try cocaine or crack once or twice. 40% of them don’t believe that it is harmful to try heroin once or twice.

Signs that your child may be abusing or addicted to drugs or alcohol

Signs that your child may be abusing or addicted to drugs or alcohol
Exhibiting signs of irritability and extreme mood swings
Becoming isolated and distant from friends and family members
Changing appearance and acquaintances they hang out with
Drinking or using drugs to relax, deal with stress or feel normal
Loss of interest in hobbies and other favorite activities
Declines in school or work performance
Becoming hostile when their drug or alcohol use is mentioned
Irregular sleeping patterns

Noticed some of these signs? If so, there’s a high possibility that your child is abusing or may already be addicted to drugs or alcohol

Get Help For Your Addicted Son or Daughter

You don’t have to lose your child to an addiction. We can help!

Speak to an addiction specialist

TIPS FOR HELPING AN ADDICTED BROTHER OR SISTER

The brother/sister dynamic makes dealing with an addicted sibling far different than that of an addicted parent or child. Most brothers and sisters operate on more of an equal playing field than parents and children. And that can make addressing their addiction both easier and more difficult.

On the one hand, the need to keep up appearances with siblings isn’t nearly as strong. Children may be fixated on impressing their parents while parents strive to be a role model for their children – sometimes at the expense of being honest.

But siblings tend not to put on airs with each other. And that means many won’t be as likely to enable the behaviors of their addicted brother or sister.

On the other hand, siblings aren’t always as invested in the relationship as parents. Sure, the bond between them can be strong. But many won’t be as tempted as their parents to give up the entirety of their daily lives for their addicted sister or brother.

Even still, there are a few things you can do as the sibling of an addicted brother or sister to help them get on and stay on the road to recovery.

SUPPORTING OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE ADDICTED

The family unit isn’t just made up of parents and their children. It extends to uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents. And while these family members may not be as immediately a part of daily life, their addictions can have negative impacts that extend well across the family unit as a whole.

Below are a few tips on dealing with addiction in specific members of your extended family.

Addicted Aunts or Uncles

Addicted Cousins

Addicted Grandparents

What is at Stake in Family Addiction?

The very stability of the home
The unity of the family
Everyone’s physical health
Everyone’s mental health
The family’s financial position
Interpersonal relationships between family members

Everything about the family dynamic shifts, and it’s important to recognize addiction for what it is – a family disease.

There are a few things that you can start to do right now that will help your loved one more than both of you realize.

Educate Yourself

There is so much great information online about addiction and recovery, and most people find that they don’t really know as much as about it as they think they do. The more you know about addiction, the better equipped you will be to provide your loved one with help during all stages of the process.

Avoid Certain Behaviors or Reactions

Know that at times, you’re going to feel as though your anger and frustration will overcome you, and when you experience these emotions, it’s important for you to take a few steps back. Judging your loved one, or accusing him or her of anything is only going to make your situation worse instead of better.

Stay Sober-Minded

For example, if you live with someone who is an alcoholic, and you enjoy drinking, but only socially, it’s best for you to make a plan for a sober environment within your home. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our loved ones is to set a good example.

Keep in Mind that Addiction is a Disease

This can be a hard one for families because the tendency is to wish that the addicted loved one will just “snap out of it.” However, just as it’s impossible for a diabetic to just stop being a diabetic, it’s impossible for an addict to stop being an addict. The disease will always be there.

Use Frequent Encouragement

You know that your family member has the potential to live a full life that’s free from the chains of addiction. Sometimes it can help to hear someone you love say that to you, so offer encouragement to your loved one on a regular basis.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) states that one in every three people will develop a clinically significant alcohol problem at some point during the course of their lives. Additionally, they state that one in eight people will become dependent upon alcohol. Likewise, 23.5 million people who were over the age of 12 needed to get treatment for a drug or alcohol addiction in 2009. That number is thought to have increased since that time.

Clearly, addiction within families is a very serious problem in the United States, and it’s a problem that is not going to go away on its own. Families need to work hard to try and understand why addiction is such an issue, and they need to know how to react and how to help when one of their own family members is struggling because of drugs or alcohol.

Perhaps you have a family member who is currently dealing with an addiction. This individual may or may not be living with you, but the fact that you spend every day of your life worrying about his or her health and safety should not be ignored. Sometimes it may feel as though your hands are tied, and that there is nothing you can do to get your loved one to change. So many other families have found themselves to be facing the same exact set of circumstances. The more you understand about addiction and how you can avoid offering the wrong type of help to your family member, the better.

At Northpoint Recovery, we are constantly working with families who are struggling to put the pieces of their lives back together again. Many of them lived with the addict for years, and are only now starting to heal from the severe wounds that were dealt to them during that time. Regardless of what your situation is, please know that it is not hopeless.

Statistics Regarding Families and Drug and Alcohol Addiction

If you have someone in your family who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, then you understand how lonely your situation can feel at times. It may seem as though there is no one who understands what you’re going through, and you may feel like you’re dealing with each challenge all on your own. The fact is that addiction is a big problem in the United States, and it doesn’t matter if it is a parent, child, grandparent, aunt, or uncle who is addicted. It tends to hit families in very similar ways.

The statistics tell us that:

1 in every 5 people in the United States has lived with an alcoholic relative at some point during their lives.
When this happens during childhood, the individual is at a much greater risk for behavioral and emotional issues later on.
Children of alcoholics are four times more likely to turn to alcoholism themselves as they grow older.
They are also more likely to marry an alcoholic or abusive spouse as adults.
9 out of 10 Americans who meet the criteria for alcohol or drug addiction as adults started using before the age of 18.
10% of all young people between the ages of 12 and 17 are currently illegal drug users.
6% of sixteen and seventeen-year-olds and 17% of eighteen to twenty-year-olds admitted to driving under the influence of alcohol at some point during the last year.
The number of children being raised by their grandparents went from 2.4 million in the year 2000 to 4.9 million in the year 2010, according to the United States Census Bureau.
For many of these situations, the reasons were because of drug or alcohol addiction within the biological parents.
Many studies show that a large percentage of child abuse cases and domestic violence cases have involved alcohol and drugs.
The victims in these scenarios have been known to be very likely to abuse drugs or alcohol later on in their lives.

These statistics come as a surprise to many people, and it is shocking to know that there are so many people in the United States who are battling addictions. Getting the right information about how to help your loved one is the best place for you to begin the process of getting him or her into treatment.

Understand the Difference Between Abuse & Addiction

Drug abuse and drug addiction (or alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction) are terms that are used interchangeably quite often. However, they are certainly not the same thing. One of the very first steps of addressing addiction in the family is to learn more about this complex disease. And part of that means understanding the difference between abuse and addiction.

Spotting the Signs of Addiction in Family Members

Identifying whether or not a family member is actually addicted can be tough. But it’s the first step of getting them the help they so desperately need.

In addition to having a look at the most common signs below, family members who suspect addiction to drugs or alcohol can take this short quiz to help them determine if their loved one is struggling with a substance use disorder.

Sign #1: Secretive Behaviors

Sign #2: Dishonesty

Sign #3: Changes in Appearance & Personal Hygiene

Sign #4: Unpredictable Swings in Mood or Energy

Sign #5: Loss of Interest in Formerly-Enjoyable Activities

Sign #6: Money Problems & Theft

Sign #7: Signs of Intoxication

Sign #8: Drug Paraphernalia

Sign #9: They Go Through Withdrawal Symptoms

Eliminating Enabling Behaviors

While addiction is a disease in a single individual, it actually affects nearly everyone around them. And when it comes to particularly close family members (parents, children, aunts and uncles, grandparents), enabling is an incredibly common occurrence.

Enabling is something that people close to an addict do to normalize certain behaviors. It may involve ignoring that a problem exists, making excuses for an addict, and generally supporting them when times get tough.

And while many enablers justify these actions as just “loving support,” the truth of the matter is that these behaviors tend to make a family member’s addiction even worse. That’s because negative behaviors (e.g., spending money carelessly, abandoning social obligations, failing to take care of oneself) are not connected with the appropriate consequences (e.g., not being able to pay for bills, alienation of friends and family, health problems).

It’s softening the blow of certain actions. And without the full realization of real-world consequences, an addict doesn’t often feel the need to cease these actions and change their behaviors.

Parents tend to be especially guilty of enabling. Their natural tendency to protect their child at all costs makes it particularly difficult to let an addicted son or daughter take care of themselves on their own.

Examples of
Enabling Behaviours

Waking them up for school/work
when they are hungove
Giving them money when they lose their job
Covering up or making excuses for them
Paying their overdue bills and expenses
Buying drugs or alcohol for them
Dodging addressing issues to avoid
making the addict angry

Are You An Enabler?

What Are Some Examples of Enabling Behaviors?

Stopping Enabling Behaviors

Other Resources for Families:

The Difference Between Enabling Addiction and Offering Support

It’s very common for worry and concern to grip the lives of family members so hard that they end up enabling the addict when what they really intend to do is to offer support. There is a huge difference between these two situations, and if you have been enabling someone in your life who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it’s important for you to understand what that difference is now so that you can stop this behavior.

The first thing you need to know is that enabling an addict never makes the situation any better. In fact, it will only serve to make it worse. There are a lot of things that well-meaning family members do in an effort to help someone they love who struggles with an addiction, and some of these things include:

Offering a family member a place to live when you know that addiction is a factor in his or her life.
Providing money on a regular basis as a way to offer financial support. Offering to get groceries or bring the addict food on a regular basis.
Offering transportation when the addict wants to pick up more drugs or alcohol.
Keeping up on child support payments and other bills that the addict is responsible for.
It’s understandable that you might be worried about your addicted family member becoming homeless, or having to live with friends who use just like they do. Many addicted individuals struggle with mental illnesses alongside their addictions, which is known as having a co-occurring disorder. You might worry that your loved one will make a poor decision if he or she is left to care for themselves without supervision. Even though these situations are very real, and even though you think you’re doing the right thing by offering that type of support, this method of enabling only allows the addiction to take a tighter grip on your family member’s life. The likelihood that he or she will ever want to escape from the addiction is almost nonexistent in situations like these.

How to Take Care of Yourself When You Have an Addicted Family Member

Mistakes Families Often Make With a Loved One Who has an Addiction

Talking with a Family Member About Substance Abuse Treatment

Intervention Services: An Incredible Resource for Concerned Families

Should You Offer to Pay for Drug and Alcohol Rehab for a Loved One?

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Getting the Right Kind of Professional Help for Your Addicted Family Member

The overwhelming majority of addicts will need the help of a professional treatment program in order to attain long-lasting recovery. And before you decide on any single program, it’s important to know about the different types of substance abuse treatment that might be recommended for addicted family members. If he or she has any questions about the options, you will be able to tell them. Plus, it’s good to have that information for yourself as well.

In general, treatment programs can be broken down into detoxification and rehabilitation.

Detoxification

Drug and Alcohol Detox
This method of treatment is the first step for most people who need rehab. It works by addressing the physical withdrawal symptoms that can make stopping the use of substances so difficult and even dangerous, in some cases.

Rehabilitation

Inpatient Treatment – During inpatient treatment, your loved one will stay in a facility for about 30 days while he or she gets the needed help. Individual and group therapy will be important components of this time. They’ll also undergo extensive behavioral therapies to help reverse compulsive drug-seeking and self-destructive behaviors common with addiction.

Long-Term Inpatient Treatment – This is sometimes known as residential treatment, and it is for those with severe addictions that need care for longer than one month. These facilities tend to provide more extensive amenities. However, the costs are also often higher.

Outpatient Treatment – This type of treatment is far more flexible than inpatient. Treatment sessions usually occur during the evenings or over the weekend rather than throughout the day. It’s important to remember, however, that most addicts are not appropriate for outpatient treatment during the initial part of their recoveries, but it is helpful for some people with mild addictions.

Intensive Outpatient Treatment – This option might be good for those who aren’t able to commit to an inpatient setting, but who still need a high level of care and supervision. It follows the outpatient model with evening or weekend treatment sessions. However, these sessions tend to be longer and occur more frequently than a normal outpatient program.

Can Northpoint Recovery Help Your Loved One with Drug and Alcohol Treatment?

When a member of your family suffers from an addiction to drugs or alcohol, there is so much at stake. You desperately want your family to be happy and healthy, and you want everyone to be free of any concerns about addiction. Unfortunately, so many families in the United States live with a different reality, and those hopes simply do not fit into their everyday lives. Even so, there is so much that you can do to give your loved one the type of help that he or she really needs, instead of the type of help that will eventually destroy him or her.

At Northpoint Recovery, we understand what you’re going through. Each morning, you wake up hoping that the day will be different from the one before, but it’s not.

Unfortunately, no amount of wishing your family’s circumstances were better is going to change anything for you, but with the right kind of knowledge, you can help your loved one beat his or her addiction once and for all. However, keep in mind that because addiction is a disease, it needs to be treated like one, and we’d like to help you get the process started.

Northpoint Recovery is a nationally accredited rehabilitation. Our inpatient program is 28 days long and provides fully individualized treatment programs catered to meet the unique needs of each and every patient.We also have one of the best staff-to-patient ratios in the region, so you can be sure your loved one is getting the level of care they deserve.

We also know that our program isn’t right for everyone. And a quick call with an addiction specialist can help determine if we’re a good fit for your addicted child, parent, sibling, or extended family member.

Are you concerned about addiction in your family? Do you have questions about our intervention services or drug and alcohol rehab for someone you love? If so, please contact us today.

Talk to a Rehab Specialist

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Guide to Helping Addicted Family Members

Families & Addiction:

Are Your Loved Ones in Danger?

On This Page

On This Page

Get Help For Your Addicted Son or Daughter

How to Support a Loved One Who is Struggling with Substance Abuse

Helping an addicted parent

22-42%

8,300,000

27%

IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER ADDICTED?

60%

30%

54%

16.5%

60%

50%

Signs that your child may be abusing or addicted to drugs or alcohol

Get Help For Your Addicted Son or Daughter

TIPS FOR HELPING AN ADDICTED BROTHER OR SISTER

SUPPORTING OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE ADDICTED

Below are a few tips on dealing with addiction in specific members of your extended family.

What is at Stake in Family Addiction?

There are a few things that you can start to do right now that will help your loved one more than both of you realize.

Educate Yourself

Avoid Certain Behaviors or Reactions

Stay Sober-Minded

Keep in Mind that Addiction is a Disease

Use Frequent Encouragement

Statistics Regarding Families and Drug and Alcohol Addiction

The statistics tell us that:

Understand the Difference Between Abuse & Addiction

Spotting the Signs of Addiction in Family Members

Eliminating Enabling Behaviors

Examples of Enabling Behaviours

Other Resources for Families:

Read The Latest Recovery News and Stories (placeholder)

Getting the Right Kind of Professional Help for Your Addicted Family Member

Detoxification

Rehabilitation

Can Northpoint Recovery Help Your Loved One with Drug and Alcohol Treatment?

At Northpoint Recovery, we understand what you’re going through. Each morning, you wake up hoping that the day will be different from the one before, but it’s not.

Are you concerned about addiction in your family? Do you have questions about our intervention services or drug and alcohol rehab for someone you love? If so, please contact us today.

Talk to a Rehab Specialist

Start Your Recovery

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Examples of
Enabling Behaviours