There’s a difference between having a drink and needing one to get through the day. For a lot of adults, alcohol becomes a quiet way to cope — something that starts off small but eventually feels like the only way to relax, numb out, or turn off anxious thoughts.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Self-medicating with alcohol is incredibly common, especially if you’re dealing with stress, trauma, emotional overload, or a sense of disconnection you can’t quite name. But over time, what started as a coping strategy can start to do more harm than good.
This post is for anyone who’s noticed that drinking has become more of a crutch than a choice, and who wants help that feels possible and supportive, not shame-based.
What It Means To Self-Medicate With Alcohol
Self-medicating means using alcohol (or anything else) to escape, numb, or avoid emotional pain. It’s not about how much you drink — it’s about why you’re drinking. Maybe it’s to stop the thoughts racing through your head. Maybe it’s to feel something or to feel nothing.
This often starts as an occasional drink to “take the edge off.” But over time, it can become a pattern where alcohol feels like the only way to unwind, feel okay in social settings, or fall asleep at night.
Self-medicating isn’t about weakness or lack of willpower. It’s usually a sign that something deeper is going on and that your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.
Why People Use Alcohol To Cope
No one starts drinking with the goal of developing a problem. Most people reach for alcohol because they feel like it works, at least at first. It takes the edge off. It makes things feel more manageable. It helps shut down what feels too loud inside.
Some of the most common reasons people self-medicate include:
- Trying to quiet anxiety, panic, or constant overthinking
- Easing emotional pain after trauma, grief, or loss
- Managing the pressure of daily life, work, or caregiving
- Numbing feelings of loneliness, guilt, shame, or self-doubt
- Avoiding memories or emotions that feel too painful to sit with
If drinking has become the go-to solution, it’s not a failure — it’s a sign that you’ve been trying to take care of yourself the only way you knew how to (especially if you were exposed to heavy drinking in your family when growing up). But there are other ways. Healthier ways. And you deserve access to them.
Signs You May Be Self-Medicating
You don’t have to hit a “rock bottom” to recognize that your relationship with alcohol might be unhealthy. Sometimes the signs are subtle shifts that add up over time.
Drinking When You Feel Overwhelmed, Anxious, Or Numb
If you reach for a drink when you’re emotionally overloaded—or completely disconnected from what you’re feeling—that’s a sign alcohol is being used to manage your internal state.
You might notice:
- Drinking after arguments, long days, or emotional triggers
- Feeling like you need a drink to relax or “feel normal
- Reaching for alcohol out of habit during emotionally difficult moments rather than out of desire
Using Alcohol As A Way To “Turn Off” Emotionally
Some people drink not to feel better, but to feel less. If you’re using alcohol to escape, shut down, or avoid certain thoughts or emotions, that’s self-medicating.
You might notice:
- Drinking to avoid thinking about something painful or stressful
- Using alcohol to fall asleep, “quiet your mind,” or numb out
- Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected the day after drinking
Needing More To Feel The Same
Over time, your tolerance may increase — what once felt like enough might no longer have the same effect. If alcohol feels less effective but harder to stop, that’s often a sign of dependence.
You might notice:
- Drinking more than you used to, even if you don’t want to
- Feeling frustrated that a drink “doesn’t work” like it used to
- Increasing the amount or frequency to feel the same effects
Feeling Guilt Or Regret After Drinking
If you’re waking up with a sense of shame, embarrassment, or disappointment about your choices, your relationship with alcohol may be working against you, not for you.
You might notice:
- Feeling anxious or depressed the next morning
- Feeling the need to downplay how much you drank, avoiding conversations about it, or hiding your alcohol consumption altogether
- Telling yourself you’ll stop or cut back, but not following through
Struggling To Cope Without Drinking
When drinking is the main way you deal with stress, boredom, or emotional pain, it becomes hard to imagine coping without it. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
You might notice:
- Avoiding situations where you can’t drink
- Feeling edgy, restless, or emotionally raw when sober
- Telling yourself you’ll take a break—but putting it off
Ways To Stop Self-Medicating With Alcohol
You don’t need to have it all figured out. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s movement. Below are a few ways to start shifting out of the self-medicating cycle and into something that actually supports your well-being.
Identify Your Triggers And Patterns
Start by noticing when and why you reach for a drink. What emotion, situation, or thought usually comes first? Awareness isn’t always comfortable, but it’s the foundation of real change.
Try:
- Keeping a simple journal of when you drink and what you were feeling before
- Noticing what’s going on in your body (tension, fatigue, racing heart)
- Asking yourself: “What do I want this drink to do for me right now?”
Learn And Practice Healthier Coping Skills
If alcohol has been your go-to, it’s because it works in some way, but it also takes a toll. The key is finding alternatives that meet the same need in a more sustainable way.
You can try:
- Grounding techniques (like holding ice, deep breathing, or naming five things you see)
- Movement—walking, stretching, or even pacing helps release anxiety
- Creative outlets like music, art, or writing to process what you’re feeling
- Simple routines that calm your nervous system (hot showers, warm drinks, structured breaks)
Set Small, Realistic Boundaries Around Drinking
If quitting cold turkey feels overwhelming, that’s okay. You can start by creating breathing room — giving yourself space to experience other ways of coping.
Start with:
- Skipping drinking on certain days and noticing how it feels
- Setting a limit before you start and sticking to it
- Replacing the first drink with something else (a walk, a bath, a call to a friend)
It’s not about rigid rules. It’s about practicing something different.
Reach Out For Support
You don’t need to go through this alone. Whether you’re exploring the idea of cutting back or already know you want to stop, talking to someone can help you understand the root of the pattern and feel less alone.
Support can look like:
- Working with a therapist who specializes in anxiety, trauma, or substance use
- Joining a support group (online or in person)
- Talking honestly with a trusted friend or loved one who can hold space
Therapy isn’t just for people in crisis. It’s for anyone who wants to feel better, cope more effectively, and build something healthier.
Address What’s Underneath
Alcohol is often just a symptom. It’s the thing we see. But underneath it, there’s usually something deeper — an emotion, belief, or pain that needs care. Stopping the drinking is important, but so is understanding what it was helping you survive.
Whether it’s trauma, grief, burnout, or something harder to name, healing what’s underneath is what helps the pattern actually change.
What Healthier Coping Can Look Like
You don’t need a perfect self-care routine. You just need a few tools that work for you. Here are some everyday ways people start to shift from numbing to coping:
- Calling a friend after a hard day instead of opening a bottle
- Taking five minutes to walk, stretch, or breathe before reacting
- Writing down what you’re feeling instead of pushing it away
- Giving yourself permission to rest, without needing to shut down completely
You’re not replacing alcohol with “discipline.” You’re building a new way to care for yourself that helps you feel better.
You Deserve Support, Not Shame
If alcohol has been your way of coping, that doesn’t make you weak. It means you’ve been trying to get through something that felt too big to handle alone. That makes sense.
But if drinking is starting to make things harder for you, it might be time for a different kind of support. Something that helps you understand yourself more clearly. Something that actually makes space for healing.
If you’re ready to explore a healthier path forward, our team is here to support you. Contact us today to learn more about our alcohol addiction treatment programs, including medical detox to start your recovery off on the right foot.