Step 6 of the 12 steps is about willingness. You identify your character defects and become ready to let them go. Step 7 takes that willingness and turns it into action.
The seventh step of Alcoholics Anonymous reads: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
Even if you aren’t religious, this step still serves an important purpose: it helps you let go of ego and control, practice humility, and accept support as you work to change patterns that keep you stuck.
If Step 6 is the internal shift, Step 7 is the follow-through. It’s where you admit that willpower alone isn’t enough, and you ask for help removing the parts of yourself that continue to cause harm.
For people recovering from alcohol use disorder or other substance use disorders, Step 7 often becomes a turning point because it replaces self-reliance with openness, and defensiveness with growth.
What Step 7 of the 12 Steps Really Means
Step 7 is about asking, not demanding, that your shortcomings be removed. The language matters. It doesn’t say you remove them yourself. It doesn’t say they disappear instantly. It says you humbly ask.
That humility is important because many of the defects identified in Steps 4, 5, and 6 are rooted in pride, control, fear, or self-protection. Step 7 asks you to soften those defenses.
A “shortcoming” in this context is simply a pattern that blocks your growth. It might be resentment, dishonesty, arrogance, people-pleasing, anger, self-centeredness, avoidance, or fear.
These traits often developed to protect you, but in recovery, they can keep you isolated and emotionally stuck. This is one of the most important things the 12-step recovery program teaches you to deconstruct and move on from.
Step 7 means you’re no longer trying to manage these traits alone. You’re inviting change, even if you don’t fully understand how it will happen.
The Role of Humility in Recovery
Humility is often misunderstood. It doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means seeing yourself clearly.
Addiction often feeds on extremes like deep shame and inflated pride. Humility sits in the middle. It allows you to say: I have flaws, I am not perfect, I don’t have all the answers, and I am still worthy of growth.
Humility removes the need to defend every behavior. It opens you up to correction, feedback, and spiritual growth.
In practice, humility looks like admitting when you’re wrong, apologizing without justification, asking for help, listening instead of reacting, and accepting that change takes time. Step 7 builds emotional maturity. It shifts you from managing your image to strengthening your character.
How Do You Complete Step 7 of AA?
Step 7 is often done through prayer or a personal conversation with your higher power. The traditional Step 7 prayer in AA asks for removal of shortcomings so you can better serve others.
But beyond prayer, Step 7 shows up in daily behavior.
In practice, Step 7 looks like this:
- Review the shortcomings you became willing to release in Step 6.
- Acknowledge that you cannot force change through sheer willpower.
- Ask your higher power to help remove what blocks your growth.
- Stay open to feedback from your sponsor or support system.
- Begin acting differently, even before you feel different.
Step 7 is less about a single moment and more about an ongoing posture. You’re choosing humility over ego, and growth over defensiveness.
Step 7 of AA: Humility and Asking for Change
Step 6 is about willingness. You identify your character defects and become ready to let them go. Step 7 takes that willingness and turns it into action.
The seventh step of Alcoholics Anonymous reads: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” Even if you aren’t religious, this step still serves an important purpose. It helps you let go of ego and control, practice humility, and accept support as you work to change patterns that keep you stuck.
If Step 6 is the internal shift, Step 7 is the follow-through. It’s where you admit that willpower alone isn’t enough, and you ask for help removing the parts of yourself that continue to cause harm. For people recovering from alcohol use disorder or other substance use disorders, Step 7 can be a turning point because it replaces self-reliance with openness, and defensiveness with growth.
What Step 7 Really Means
Step 7 is about asking, not demanding, that your shortcomings be removed. The language matters. It doesn’t say you remove them yourself. It doesn’t say they disappear instantly. It says you humbly ask.
That humility is important because many of the defects identified in Steps 4, 5, and 6 are rooted in pride, control, fear, or self-protection. Step 7 asks you to soften those defenses.
A “shortcoming” in this context is simply a pattern that blocks your growth. It might be resentment, dishonesty, arrogance, people-pleasing, anger, self-centeredness, avoidance, or fear. These traits often developed to protect you, but in recovery, they can keep you isolated and emotionally stuck.
Step 7 means you’re no longer trying to manage these traits alone. You’re inviting change, even if you don’t fully understand how it will happen.
The Role of Humility in Recovery
Humility is often misunderstood. It doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means seeing yourself clearly.
Addiction often feeds on extremes, either inflated pride or deep shame. Humility sits in the middle. It allows you to say: I have flaws, I am not perfect, I don’t have all the answers, and I am still worthy of growth.
Humility removes the need to defend every behavior. It opens you up to correction, feedback, and spiritual growth.
In practice, humility looks like admitting when you’re wrong, apologizing without justification, asking for help, listening instead of reacting, and accepting that change takes time. Step 7 builds emotional maturity. It shifts you from managing your image to strengthening your character.
How Do You Complete Step 7 of AA?
Step 7 is often done through prayer or a personal conversation with your higher power. The traditional Step 7 prayer in AA asks for removal of shortcomings so you can better serve others.
But beyond prayer, Step 7 shows up in daily behavior.
In practice, Step 7 looks like this:
- Review the shortcomings you became willing to release in Step 6.
- Acknowledge that you cannot force change through sheer willpower.
- Ask your higher power to help remove what blocks your growth.
- Stay open to feedback from your sponsor or support system.
- Begin acting differently, even before you feel different.
Step 7 is less about a single moment and more about an ongoing posture. You’re choosing humility over ego, and growth over defensiveness.
The Difference Between Willingness and Surrender
Step 6 says, “I’m ready.” Step 7 says, “I can’t do this alone.”
That shift can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’ve relied on control for most of your life. Many people in recovery have a long history of handling everything themselves, even if that “handling” was chaotic.
Step 7 challenges that mindset. It asks you to stop trying to manage your growth through force and start allowing change to unfold through honesty, guidance, and spiritual connection.
In practice:
- Notice when you try to fix yourself through sheer effort.
- Pause and admit what you can’t control.
- Ask for help instead of isolating.
This step reduces pressure. You don’t have to perfect yourself. You only have to stay willing and keep showing up.
Why Step 7 Matters in Long-Term Recovery
Shortcomings don’t only affect your inner world. They affect your stress level, your relationships, and your relapse risk.
Resentment fuels anger. Pride blocks connection. Fear creates avoidance. Dishonesty erodes trust. Control creates conflict. These patterns keep you emotionally activated, and emotional activation is one of the biggest relapse triggers there is.
Step 7 matters because it helps lower the emotional intensity that often drives substance use. When you consistently ask for help removing your shortcomings, you reduce the inner chaos that once made alcohol or drugs feel necessary.
Over time, Step 7 supports:
- Stronger relationships
- Better emotional regulation
- Less defensiveness
- More stable self-esteem
- Greater peace and clarity
- An effective, long-term relapse prevention plan
It helps you become the kind of person who can stay sober, not only someone who is trying not to drink.
Why Change Doesn’t Happen Overnight
Many people expect Step 7 to create an instant shift. That rarely happens.
Shortcomings are habits. They’ve been reinforced for years. Asking for their removal doesn’t mean they disappear immediately. More often, Step 7 works subtly.
You may notice…
- Catching yourself mid-reaction
- Pausing before speaking
- Apologizing sooner
- Feeling less attached to being right
- Making different choices in small moments
… and that is Step 7 in real life! Progress often shows up as less intensity, not instant perfection.
Common Challenges With Step 7
Step 7 sounds simple. Humility. Ask for removal. Move on.
But in practice, it can be one of the most uncomfortable steps in the program, because it targets the ego. And for many people, the ego has been a survival tool.
Here are some of the most common challenges people face with Step 7.
Feeling Like You Should Be Further Along
Step 7 can trigger impatience. You may feel like you’ve already done so much work, and you want results.
This is where humility comes in again. Growth takes time. Your patterns didn’t develop overnight, and they won’t disappear overnight either.
A helpful reminder is: you’re not trying to become perfect. You’re trying to become free.
Wanting Your Shortcomings Removed Without Discomfort
Many people want their defects removed, but they don’t want the emotional experience that comes with change.
For example, if you let go of control, you may feel anxious at first. If you release resentment, you may feel grief underneath it. If you stop people-pleasing, you may feel guilt.
Step 7 doesn’t remove discomfort immediately. It helps you stop using discomfort as a reason to go back to old behaviors.
Confusing Humility With Shame
Some people hear the word “shortcomings” and feel flooded with shame.
Step 7 is not asking you to hate yourself. It’s asking you to be honest about what blocks your growth. Shame says, “I am bad.” Humility says, “I can change.”
If you feel shame rising during Step 7, that’s something to talk about with your sponsor or therapist. Shame can become a relapse trigger if it stays unaddressed.
Getting Stuck in Self-Improvement Mode
It’s easy to turn Step 7 into another project where you try to fix yourself through effort and analysis.
But Step 7 is not about self-perfection. It’s about surrender. It’s about letting your higher power guide the process instead of obsessing over every flaw.
If you find yourself spiraling into self-criticism, it may help to shift your focus to one simple question:
“What would humility look like right now?”
Feeling Resistant to the Spiritual Language
Even if you’re open-minded, the language of Step 7 can feel uncomfortable. Some people have religious trauma. Others simply don’t connect with the word “God.”
You are not alone in that.
AA allows you to define a higher power in a way that fits your beliefs. The purpose of Step 7 is not to force religion. It’s to help you release ego, accept guidance, and stay teachable.
What If You Don’t Believe in God?
If you don’t believe in God, Step 7 can still work.
Many people interpret “higher power” as:
- The AA community
- The principles of the program
- A sense of spirituality without religion
- Nature, mindfulness, or a personal value system
- The idea of something bigger than addiction
The core of Step 7 is humility. It’s acknowledging that addiction thrives when you rely only on yourself and your own thinking. Step 7 invites you to lean on something more stable than your impulses.
Even if your “higher power” is simply the recovery process, the step still applies.
How You’ll Know You’re Living Step 7
Step 7 becomes visible through your behavior.
You may notice:
- Less defensiveness when someone gives feedback
- More willingness to admit when you’re wrong
- Fewer emotional blow-ups
- More patience with yourself and others
- Less need to control outcomes
- More consistency in your actions
You may still have shortcomings. Everyone does. The difference is you’re no longer protecting them. You’re working on them with humility and support.
Step 7 often shows up in small moments: letting someone else be right, taking a breath before reacting, admitting you’re afraid, asking for help instead of shutting down.
That’s what change looks like.
Step 7 and Mental Health
For many people, Step 7 overlaps with deeper mental health work.
Shortcomings like avoidance, anger, people-pleasing, and control are often connected to anxiety, trauma, depression, or chronic stress. If those root issues are not addressed, it can be harder to make lasting change.
This is why therapy and dual diagnosis treatment can be so helpful during the 12 Steps. You can work the steps while also learning coping tools that support emotional regulation and healing.
If you’re struggling with intense anxiety, depression, or trauma symptoms, that does not mean you’re failing Step 7; you may need more support before moving into step 8.
Find Support to Help You Keep Building Real Change
Step 7 sets you up for Step 8, where you start looking at how your actions affected other people. Humility makes that next step possible because it helps you stay honest, open, and willing to grow instead of slipping back into defensiveness.
At Northpoint Recovery, we know these steps can bring up a lot, especially when old patterns are tied to anxiety, trauma, or long-term stress. Our team helps you work through what’s underneath those patterns while you build practical tools that support lasting sobriety.
If you’re ready for steady, structured support as you move forward in recovery, contact Northpoint Recovery today to learn how we can help.
Step 7 of AA: FAQs
1. What are “shortcomings” in Step 7?
They’re patterns that block your growth and harm relationships. Common examples include resentment, fear, dishonesty, pride, control, anger, and avoidance.
2. Do my shortcomings disappear after Step 7?
Not instantly. Step 7 is the start of a new approach. Change usually happens gradually through awareness, humility, and consistent practice.
3. What does humility actually look like in recovery?
It looks like honesty, openness, and willingness to admit mistakes without defensiveness. It also includes asking for help and staying teachable.
4. What if I struggle with the spiritual language?
That’s common. You can define a higher power in a way that fits your beliefs. Step 7 is about surrendering ego, not adopting a specific religion.
5. How is Step 7 different from Step 6?
Step 6 is willingness. Step 7 is asking for help and practicing humility in real life.
6. Can Step 7 reduce relapse risk?
Yes. Many relapse triggers are emotional. Step 7 helps reduce resentment, pride, fear, and emotional volatility, which lowers relapse risk over time.
7. What if I feel stuck in Step 7?
That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It may mean you’re facing deeper fears or grief underneath your patterns. Keep talking with your sponsor or therapist, and focus on small moments of humility. They add up.
