After Step 5 of the 12 steps, many people feel a sense of relief. You’ve said the hard things out loud, faced your patterns, and stepped into honesty with someone else. Step 6 builds on that momentum by shifting the focus from awareness to readiness. For people recovering from alcohol use disorder or other substance use disorders, that readiness often includes letting go of old coping habits that once felt necessary. 

The sixth step of the 12 Steps reads: “We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” This step asks a simple but challenging question: Are you willing to change even the parts of yourself you’ve leaned on for survival?

What Step 6 Really Means

Step 6 is about willingness. It’s the moment where you look at your character defects — the patterns and substance-dependent behaviors that kept you stuck — and decide you’re ready to let them go. Not because you’re bad, but because they’ve been costing you peace, relationships, and growth.

A “defect of character” can sound harsh, but in recovery, it usually refers to traits like resentment, dishonesty, pride, people-pleasing, control, avoidance, or fear. These behaviors often developed as coping tools. They helped you get through life at one point. But in recovery, they can keep you from healing.

Step 6 doesn’t require you to instantly change. It asks for something more realistic: a shift in your mindset from “This is who I am” to “This is what I’ve learned, and I’m ready to learn something different.”

How Do You Complete Step 6 of AA?

Step 6 is not where you fix your character defects. It’s where you make a clear internal decision that you’re ready to stop holding onto them. In other words, you move from identifying the problem to becoming willing to release it.

In practice, Step 6 looks like this:

• Name the character defects you’ve already identified through Steps 4 and 5.
• Notice which ones you still protect, justify, or feel attached to.
• Get honest about what each defect has been doing for you (control, protection, numbness, distance, relief).
• Admit what it’s been costing you (trust, peace, connection, stability).
• Choose willingness, even if it feels incomplete or uncomfortable.
• Bring that willingness to your higher power as readiness to change.

A simple way to frame Step 6 is: “I can see what’s been driving me, and I’m ready to stop building my life around it.”

Why Step 6 Matters in Recovery

Without Step 6, recovery can start to feel like a cycle of insight without movement. You can recognize your patterns and even talk about them honestly, but change takes willingness. Step 6 is where you stop clinging to old defenses and start opening yourself up to new ways of living.

This step matters because those character defects often fuel relapse. They create emotional discomfort, conflict, stress, and disconnection — all things that can make substances feel tempting again. Becoming ready to release them helps protect your recovery long-term.

In practice:

• Notice which traits keep showing up in your life and relationships.
• Ask yourself what those traits have been protecting you from.
• Start separating your identity from your coping patterns.

The Difference Between Awareness and Readiness

A lot of people can identify their defects. Readiness is different. Readiness means you’re willing to stop defending them, even if they’ve helped you cope for years.

For example, maybe anger helped you feel powerful when you felt small. Maybe control helped you feel safe when life felt chaotic. Maybe isolation helped you avoid being hurt. Those patterns may have served a purpose, but they can also block intimacy, peace, and healing.

Step 6 isn’t about shame; it’s about letting go of what no longer serves you so that you can break the shame-induced cycle of addiction.

In practice:

• When resistance shows up, pause and name it.
• Ask yourself what you’re afraid will happen if you let that trait go.
• Remind yourself that change doesn’t remove your personality — it removes your suffering.

Why It Can Feel Hard to Let Go

Even painful patterns can feel familiar. If you’ve relied on certain traits to survive, letting them go can feel like losing part of yourself. It’s common to feel uneasy, defensive, or uncertain during Step 6. That’s because you’re standing at the edge of change.

Some people also fear what’s underneath their defects. If you let go of resentment, what do you feel instead? If you release control, what happens to your sense of security? Step 6 brings those questions to the surface so healing can begin.

In practice:

• Focus on willingness, not certainty.
• Take it one trait at a time.
• Keep talking about what comes up with your sponsor or therapist.

Common Challenges With Step 6

Step 6 can feel frustrating because it’s internal work. It doesn’t come with a checklist you can complete quickly. It’s a mental and emotional shift, and that shift takes time.

Common challenges include:

• Feeling attached to certain behaviors that feel protective.
• Believing you’ll lose your identity without your coping traits.
• Wanting to change but not feeling fully ready.
• Confusing readiness with perfection.
• Feeling impatient and wanting instant transformation.

The truth is, readiness can build slowly. You may not feel completely willing at first. Step 6 is about being open to willingness — even if you’re not fully there yet.

How You’ll Know You’re Living Step 6

You’ll start noticing less defensiveness and more humility. Instead of explaining away your behaviors, you can admit them more openly. You may also start catching yourself mid-pattern — not perfectly, but sooner than before. That’s progress.

Step 6 often shows up in quiet moments: choosing not to react, letting yourself be wrong, pausing before you speak, letting go of the need to control someone else’s feelings. You’ll feel yourself becoming more teachable and less locked into old habits.

Signs you’re progressing through Step 6 include:

• You can identify your patterns without self-hatred.
• You feel more open to feedback and reflection.
• You notice yourself pausing before reacting.
• You want growth more than you want control.
• You feel more honest and less emotionally tangled.

Move Forward Beyond Step 6

Step 6 prepares you for Step 7, where you ask your higher power to remove your shortcomings. Before you get there, Step 6 asks for real courage: letting go of what feels familiar so you can grow into something healthier.

This step can be a turning point. It shifts your recovery from seeing the patterns to becoming willing to release them. That willingness creates space for change.

At Northpoint Recovery, we know readiness can take time. Our team helps you work through what’s underneath patterns like fear, resentment, and avoidance. We also offer alcohol addiction treatment programs that support you through the next steps with steady, structured care.

With the right support, you can build real willingness and learn new tools to support long-term recovery. If you’re ready to move beyond awareness and into real change, contact us today to learn how we can help you keep moving forward.

Step 6 of AA: FAQs

1. What are “defects of character” in recovery?

They’re patterns and behaviors that harm you or others, often tied to fear, insecurity, or coping. Examples include resentment, dishonesty, control, pride, avoidance, and self-centeredness.

2. Do I have to be fully ready before moving on?

No. Many people begin Step 6 with hesitation. The goal is openness and willingness, even if it grows slowly over time.

3. What if I don’t want to let go of certain traits?

That’s normal. Some traits feel protective. Step 6 invites you to explore what they’re doing for you and whether you’re willing to find healthier tools.

4. How do I know what my defects are?

Your Step 4 inventory and Step 5 discussion usually make them clear. Your sponsor or therapist can also help you notice patterns you may not see on your own.

5. Why does Step 6 come before Step 7?

Because Step 7 involves asking for change. Step 6 helps you become willing to receive that change and let go of what blocks it.

6. What if I feel stuck in Step 6?

That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It may mean you’re facing deeper fears or grief beneath your patterns. Keep talking about it, keep reflecting, and focus on small moments of willingness — they add up.