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You may already have been told you fit the codependency definition. You may already realize that life is tough with other people, and all you want to help, but you get sucked into helping them and it seems to overtake your life. You recognize that the real you has been suppressed by the relationships you have had – and you want a better way.

You can have a relationship with people who are not addicted to alcohol or drugs, and it can be wonderful with little psychological chaos and time spent on crises. In this type of relationship, you will flourish on all levels. You don’t have to be a codependent.

Codependency is a term that refers to people who are helping others engage in their drug or alcohol abuse behaviors, and seek approval from others while placing this approval higher than regard for themselves.

Coming out of the codependency mindset involves learning how to set boundaries, identifying abusive situations, becoming aware of one’s own feelings and needs, realizing one’s motivations and manipulations of others, and increasing one’s self-worth.

If the person in your codependent relationship is a spouse who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, there are family counselors for codependents for both of you. It is currently believed that the problem is not only an alcoholic or someone experiencing drug abuse but also the family and friends.

Unlearning the thinking and behavior patterns in codependent relationships is something you can be successful at but you must give yourself the time it takes to heal. Reading popular literature on the topic can help a lot, and speed up your own recovery.